Journey of 2015

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Dear 2015, it's finally coming to the end our journey together. A year filled with joys, laughter, fears, curiosities, tears, and angers. 2015 was very very very different, and indeed things turned out pretty much unexpectedly. Looking back at all the major and minor changes, i can definitely say, 2015, you've made me grown. Well, in a good and bad way.

Let's do a little flashback...

Yep you see it coming, so at the start of 2015, i thought it would be really cool to have my ears pierced, because i have always wanted one, and my parents disagrees. So without their consent, i went ahead. (HAHAHA) I guess i was really bad, and i wont deny that i was at fault! 

I remembered clearly that it was 20 June when i decided to do my helix. I wasn't afraid because being me, i didn't read up anything about it's side effect. In fact i was legitly more afraid that my parents would find out. So basically, it was a Saturday, and there was a school event later in the afternoon, so in the morning i met up with my friend, Noorul, to study in school. And yes, we didn't study at ALL, we ended up talking about life.(HAHA) and so, we decided that since it's not productive, why not we head to AMK hub to shop? So yep, we headed to the mall. While we were shopping aimlessly, i saw a piercing shop 'Street 77'. The urge for me to pierce got OVERBOARD and so i went in after walking past it trice. Then I did it. Both Noorul and I was so shock because it seemed so surreal. 

And so here is me with my freshly pierced Helix! 

Thinking that piercings aren't enough, i even went ahead to dye my hair, but this time, my mom agreed-ed with pink hair, and she even supports (Like what even yeah?) But yep, my daddy didn't liked it at first because he said i'm starting to turn into an Ah Lian, with my piercings. But its really nice though, and i kinda regret dyeing back to brown after it faded awhile later :(

Again, thinking that having helix is not enough to cover my "craves" i went to pierce a few months later, this time, i did it with reasons, but mom says i was ridiculous and so, i wont be stating it (HAHA), but here's a photo my piercings. I took it out a month later because i was really afraid something bad would happen. Which links me to why my parents disagree piercings. So a few years back, probably 2012, we went on a family trip to China. As we walked into a semi jewelry shop, i begged my mom to buy me a pair of earrings, and allow me to pierce when we are back in SG. No doubt she didn't agree to it, and here comes this lady who claims that she is a legit fortuneteller. She walked towards us and told me that i should not pierce my ears until i'm married, or i'll be breaking all the "luck" that i have. I didn't really believed her, but my parents did. So ever since, i never get a singe chance to talk to them about poking a hole in my ears. Well, so you might wonder why did i remove my earrings at the end yeah? Because it was seemed that my ear tissue was a little weak, which caused the metal thing that holds the earring to go into my ear hold. (like if you get it) Hence, i was really afraid that maybe it's a sign. Thus i took it out HAHAH, Yep a little too much info, but this is the story.

Okay, back to the summary of 2015,

It all started with a new environment, new friends, new experiences, and new dance classes. Being a typical Taurus, i hate changes, but yet i was excited to know what's coming up for me in my life journey. So i hoped for the best and took a leap of faith to carry on the story. Little did i know, this change is MAJOR. Things did not turn out as expected. But well, moving from a place that you are comfortable with to an entirely new environment will definitely be a challenge to anyone. But I'm glad. I'm grateful enough to have met great people in my life. They taught me things that i have never encountered, taught me to be strong. Things went pretty smooth and legit, until I've met people who hurt me like a bitch (but oh-well, it's life).

*Just a little disclaimer; i love love love my class soooo much. I mean i'll never ask for anything more than this bunch of awesome people, that have led me through my happy and sad days. Times with them are really the best, and we are just a really bonded class that everyone desires #classgoals.

CLG1502 <3

Then, because of these changes, i have had many new experiences. Lets talk about dance. Well... i'm kinda speechless because i'm struggling to give up or to continue. Don't get me wrong, i still love dance as before but.... i guess this genre is just not my cup of tea. No doubt I've learn A LOT but it's just really not up to my liking. However, i met this new instructor that sees potential in me. I guess this is only reason left that keeps me going for dance knowing that someone out there hasn't stop believing in me. So to my dearest dance instructor Mr Nicholas, thank you for always being so nice, pushing me to my limits and understanding me. Giving me plenty of time to adapt, and lastly, encouraging me at my weakest. I'm extremely thankful and lucky to have met you in my life and for this, i'm not giving up so easily. 

And this is what i meant by pushing you to your limits.

Sigh. On a side note, I miss doing contemporary, i miss how we used to joke in MDance classes, and definitely miss having true dance friends. To the MD family, i wish we could dance together all over again.

Memories <3

Well, apart from dance friends, never in my life have i imagined myself to be in 2 productions within a year. Well, it was supposed to be 3, but hmmm that's a different story that i'll mention later.
Definitely, one of the production was under Stephanie Loh, my previous dance instructor. Miss Loh invited me back to her studio's first year anniversary production; Take the first STEP. Which is really an exclusive exposure to me, because i really get to work with different dancers, and have the first hand experiences with different awesome dance instructors!  

Then as i thought that i'm putting a '.' to my dance journey, another production came (hmm more like a musical). Which so, leads me involved in it after a few auditions. We did a Chinese item, and danced as 'coolies', as the theme revolved around our dear SG 50. HAHA it was a pretty amazing experience, so no regrets! And in fact, that was my first ever Chinese dance on stage. So DAEBAK!

COOL yeah?

So for the third production, our dance team got to work with a choreographer that seems to be one of the top few famous directors in S'pore. Things did not go well between me and him, so in the end i dropped out. I'm not gonna dwell into it because i'm lazy to write out the story in a nicer way.

Apart from dance, I've had a chance to become an exco. In the sense that i was the few selected ones to go through an elimination course, that sieves out the real leaders of our school. Oh... wait... I think i did not introduce my school. So... with my O level results, i went to Nanyang Polytechnic School of Chemical and Life Sciences, Chemical and Green Technology. (HAHAHA so technical yeah?) Carrying on with my story, i went ahead to push myself even further, thinking that maybe i could do a little more in poly and show what i've got. But it was proven that i cant make it because i was omitted. :( But it's okay because i still have a chance to be an OGL to lead the next batch of freshies! So i'm pretty excited!!(YAY)

This year, i picked up a new language too. GERMAN(!!!) I really love it but SHIT learning a whole new language is like WHOT(?) But well, it just means that i'm a little closer to working towards immigrating to Germany. *smirks*

Moving on the academics. WHO SAYS POLY SLACKS? WHO SAYS YOU DON'T HAVE TO STUDY IN POLY? WHO SAYS YEAR ONE'S A 'HONEYMOON' YEAR? Hello everything is so GPA-- Grade Point Average based. Like legit, even your attendance affect the chances of you getting 4.0, like what the even. Which have thus proven that POLY LIFE IS NOT EASY. And tbh, my GPA for semester 1 sucked. So it's time to buck up my friend.

All in all, 2015 wasn't an easy year, but there's a saying "a smooth sea never makes a skillful sailor." So through these little experience, I've grown a lot stronger. I've learn to be independent, confident, determine, and to never give up fighting for my dreams.

Just like what I've said in my 2014 post, I thank everyone and anyone who have once came into my life. Be it you stayed or left, YOU made my 2015 journey possible.

Meeting new people wasn't easy, but definitely i enjoyed every moment. Here's some photos of the people i met!

Awesome church mates!!

Dance Friends

Not forgetting the ones the have always been there at my weakest and cheering for my achievements, my daddy and mommy. Thank you for not giving up on your little crazy/stupid/ungrateful daughter Ryann Tan. Thank you for always picking me up when i fall, and walking me through every single milestone. Without the help of you, daddy and mommy, i wouldn't have made it till this day. Thank you for being the best parents that i can ever ask for.

And yes, to the brother that always rub salts to my wound, and always treating his girlfriend better than his sister, thank you for being such a sucker. But still the best brother ever.

Old photo, but this is the best thing he had done in my 17 years of life

To the happy pill that always listens to my rants and problems, thank you for always being there for me. Hanging out with you makes everything on Earth better and i wish we never had separated ways. Thank you for everything that you've done, and for accepting who i am. <3 <3 <3 2016 means a year older to our friendship, and i cant wait for our future experiences with you':)

Old photo again because SHE STILL HATES TAKING PHOTOS WITH ME D:

Last but not the least thank you '吃喝玩乐' although you all always "LOL" at whatever i say which makes me EFFING angry(?!) I still cant believe how fortunate i am to have met you two that never fails to treat me like a legit little sister. I mean is it i have to grow up already(?) Okay jokes aside, to my Zhi Yong Dage, thank you for treating me like a legit legit legit sister, like wtf my legit brothers don't even give a shit about my life. And to the best Diana jie jie, stop calling me a bitch.

This is Zhi Yong Dage

And this is Diana

Wait wait right before i end, i miss you JP korkor. I know you wont be seeing this, neither will you be missing me... but i really miss times with you. I mean ever since i was a little kid, you doted me the most, you played with me the most, and you dominated a really great part of my childhood. I miss how we used to laugh at our own lame jokes, staying up at night during holidays to watch TV shows and ignoring me even when i'm shouting at you because you just wanna watch your show.... I wish you never had moved and that after our helper leave, you will be back.

I MISS YOU JP KORKOR <3<3

Well, this pretty much sums up the chapters of 2015 in my life, very interesting yeah? Opening a new chapter in life, i pray nothing, but the best in 2016.

Before this blog ends, just a little quote to motivate anyone reading this, "Give everything but up."

Love from, 

Ryann <3<3

(aka Princess Tan)

Rejection

Rejection

rɪˈdʒɛkʃ(ə)n/

noun

the dismissing or refusing of a proposal, idea, etc.

"the Union decided last night to recommend rejection of the offer"

synonyms: refusal, non-acceptance, declining, turning down, no, dismissal, spurning,rebuff; More

the action of spurning a person's affections.

"some people are reluctant to try it, because they fear rejection"

and yes, I guess this is me.... I fear rejection, and I hate it. Many told me that rejection is really normal and I should put it down and continue my journey. But.. Each time, these rejections doesn't give me the motivation and courage to work harder. Setbacks are there, meant to make you stronger and fight harder for your dreams, but this isn't the case anymore. It hurts, it makes me fear and doubt my abilities. It takes away all the confidence I once had in me and I doubt this is making me stronger. The passion I once had is gone, the confidence I had in dance is all gone. I thought this would be my turning point in this new environment, but I’m wrong.

I'm still that old me, always losing to other at everything, the old useless individual that fear every setbacks. And I know this sucks. I hate changes. I fear the unknown....

Well, today i got rejected for auditioning the few lead characters in an upcoming musical. Working with that particular choreographer is a damn freaking rare chance and so i wanted to get those position so badly. I guess another main point was that i wanted to be able to proof to everyone else that i so am a good dancer too. But the fact is that no, I’m not. I'm not even near there. And i should stop thinking that I’m actually good.

To a point that I'm ready to give up, telling myself that this dream will never come true. All those are lies, I'm never a good dancer, and never the first choice. In this society, no one sees your hard work, and those that claims to see are just pitying you. They once told me to never die dream. But it's the truth that dreams are ultimately dreams. Some dreams are not meant to come true...

Sigh. I doubt I’ll still have the drive to continue. I think i need a break.

Taiwan!!!

2015 started off pretty well, until results day.. Well, I guess i didnt really do very well for my Os, but who to blame? It's actually cause i didnt really put in that much effort and ya the results showed. However, from the title, today's blog is not really about results, but my Taiwan trip!!! HAHAH YES I KNOW ITS A DAMN OVERDUE POST BUT OMG can't believe it's a dream come true!! My intention of going Taiwan was actually to watch Show Luo (my idol)'s concert that he promised to hold every year at 小句蛋 ( a really grand stage at Taiwan) He did it every year, BUT HE DIDNT THIS YEAR T.T *SOBS* I guess he probably has his reasons. Well, or in other words, NO FATE . (Boo hoo)

But the trip was fun nonetheless!! It was from 2Jan- 11Jan (one day before results day). HAHAHA. We went on a self-trip that my mum planned and THANK YOU MOMMY!!! <3 she really did put in a lot of effort to bring me to all the places i wanted to go, especially SHOW LUO'S shop -- STAGE!

CREDITS MOM <3

<3 <3 <3 STAGE

The designs are very detailed and super prettyyyy!!! BUT i have no money to buy :(

So on the first day, mum brought me to Stage at Xi Men Ding, then we went to 夜市(night market)!! And all the food there is AWESOME, 鸡排, 珍珠奶茶, 臭豆腐, 羊肉串, mee sua, and so many more!!! Just look at it yourself and judge

OH and the meesua is really so different from SG's Tbh, i really hated meesua cause of the first impression. But really its super good TAIWAN FTW!!

Hahah but i found out something cool is that at cold countries, we tend to eat so much ice cream idek why, but its just super shiok!! And probably cause it wont melt so fast so it's cool. 

So the next day, we went to travel around Taiwan (DUH). 

We went from Jiufen

Look at this its like ice cream in savoury??? ITS SUPER CRAZYYYYY

And then to JiLong, Show Luo's hometown!! But because i was feeling super nauseous from the stupid bus ride, i was super cranky and didn't take any photos. So ya, basically we went to another night market to eat. The whole trip is just about eating and eating and eating.

Then we headed to Yeliu to see the Queen's head?? 

and you know i had to do this!! My skills de-proved so damn badly and i really need to get it back!! I couldn't even balance myself SHAME

Then in the later afternoon, we left yeliu and went to Shifen to put 天灯, by the time we reached the lantern place its still quite early, so we wanted to go to a waterfall there, but it was closed, so since we already crossed the bridge, we decided to take some photos at the railway.

CREDITS DADDY!!! <3 

After we reached the place to put the lanterns, its about early evening, so the sky was a little dark and because i was super slow at writing, the sky was darker by that time, so it was pretty nice. However, the person there was DAMN SUPER RUDE and i'm so fucking angry about it. He even shouted at my mum cause my mum turned the lantern the wrong way, cause of direction difference. LIKE WTF YOU CANNOT TALK NICELY UH. SON OF A BITCH =.=. Sorry for the rant, back to topic :)

FAMILY PHOTO!!!

Then after we released the lantern, we went back to Taipei, back to our hotel. Actually no, back to the night market to shop and eat. HAHAHAH.

The very next day, we went out to Mengjia Longshan Temple ( 龙山寺 )

And we went there by the train!!

After we left the temple, we went to Taipei 101!!

I TRIED

The view is awesome!!!

Then after we left taipei 101, we traveled to DanShui! There we went to shop in the night market again and had dinner!

PRETTY RIGHT!!!

At night is even better!!! 

On the very very next day we went to do some exercise, because we ate too much, so we went to climb to see the waterfall at Wu Feng Qi Pu Bu!!

The waterfall was super grand and its really super worth the climb!!

Then we headed to our next hotel, which is called Qi Xing Tan a hotel near the beach! But before that we stopped somewhere that had this patch of flowers to take some photos:))

SO PRETTY RIGHT

Ignore my nails, i thought long nails were cool until i see it myself in those photo and i'm like WHAT

and again...

<3<3<3

FINALLY REACH The beach

At the beach its actually all rocks so its super cool!!

This is the only photo i have of the hotel, but not a front view though

And yes this was my bed!! OH YEAH

So on the next day, we went to Tai Lu Ge and from what I understand and called it, its the construction hole.

Pretty HOR!! cause i have good photography skills

PRETTY THEN SEE MORE OKAY

So since its a construction place its dangerous, so we had to wear the helmet to protect our head that's why i have that yellow thingy on 

And then idk what happened, we took the bus my mum booked to the moutains

AND HERE COMES MANY MANY PRETTY PHOTOS

The white thingy are clouds though!

Stayed in a hotel in Qing Jing, name Star Villa. Didnt take picture of that hotel though, but each hotel room has a specific horoscope so i think it was pretty cool! And they provide star viewing sessions at night too. But i was too lazy so i stayed in the hotel and one more thing is the bed comes with a WARMER so since we're on the mountain, its really damn cold; no joke. so the moment i reach the hotel, i just basically dig into the blanket until it was time to bath.

The very next day, we went to the SHEEP farm and that was when i fell in love with sheep(s) but idk why they kind of hate me so oh well.

IT'S SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE <3 hugs and kisses

MEHHHHHHHHH~

Okay so after the sheeps, we went to another farm, cant remember what farm but a farm

PIGEONS!! I FED THEM THOUGH *smirks*

Cousin's photography skills 

 For dinner, we had steamboat and the shop is really the coolest dining shop I've every been IN MY LIFE because everything is made of cardboard!!!!

STEAM BOATTTTT YUMSSSS

baby chair

normal chair

lightings

BASICALLY THE WHOLE RESTAURANT

A ZEBRA?

AND the menu!!

OKAY TOO EXCITED.

Then the next day, we went down the mountain to Ri Yue Tan where we took the boat

BOATS

Then we walked a bridge after the boat ride

And we saw many golden babies there!!

After that we went back to Tai Zhong and on our way back, we stopped at a train station

Then we headed to a maple tree castle 

BLACK SWAN ODILE <3

枫 BY JAY CHOU <3

That afternoon, we went to pessimum farm and it was damn pretty. At the entrance, i saw little chicks!!

And we saw a really bubbly dog, he stood when when he saw me though *smirks again*

On the last day, WE WENT TO THE ZOO at Taipei

BABE <3

WE SAW TUAN TUAN AND YUAN YUAN

AND KOALA <3333

Then we're back to SG!! overall its a really fulfilling trip and CREDITS to mommy Tan!!! 

before i end, i show you the LOOTS OF MY TRIP

SHOES <3 <3 <3

Okay that's all!!! Thank you for reading and i'll update more SOON

LOVE FROM PRINCESS TAN,

xoxo loves